First Time Skydiver (# 344)
Guy is going skydiving for the first time, and he's very nervous.
"Don't worry," says his Jumpmaster. "Just jump out, count to three and pull the ripcord. If there's a problem with the main parachute, pull the ripcord on your reserve parachute. And when you land, a truck will be waiting to take you back to the drop zone."
Guy takes a deep breath, jumps out of the plane, and pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens.
He pulls the reserve ripcord. Dirty laundry comes out of his container.
He's falling faster and faster, and he looks at the ground and says bitterly, "Great. Just great. I bet the damned truck won't be there, either."
PCJ, Vancouver, BC
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