Old Age Jokes

When I get old!  (# 190)

When I get old...

NO Nursing Home for me!

With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there
is a better way when we get old &feeble. I have ascertained that I can
get a nice room at the Holiday Inn for around $65.00...that leaves
$123.00 a day for beer, food (room service), laundry, gratuities and
special TV movies. They have a
swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have
free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

Super 8 is somewhat more economical and they have a free breakfast,
though you usually have to walk next door for lunch and dinner.

There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that's
OK, it takes months to get into decent nursing homes. There is the
Senior Bus, the Handicap bus (if you fake a decent limp), a Church bus
or van, cabs, and even a regular bus. For a change of lunch take the
Airport Bus and eat at one of the fast food cafe's there.

The Inn has security, and if someone sees you drop over, they will call
an ambulance. And should you break a hip, the American Way is to Sue.
What more can you ask for?

As a bonus, they all have AARP and other Senior discounts. So:

When I reach the Golden age
help me keep my grin
Just check my old rickety ass
into the nearest Holiday Inn!

Submitted by: JDH, Kansa City, MO

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