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ALABAMA:
-Literacy ain't everything
-Ya want fries with dat?

ALASKA:
-Come, freeze your butt off

ARIZONA:
-Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds

ARKANSAS:
-At least we're not Mississippi

CALIFORNIA:
-The Granola State
-Nobody's actually from here
-Fast reloading lanes available
-The really long state

COLORADO:
-Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
-Official home of the winter ski bunny

CONNECTICUT:
-Way too close to New York

DELAWARE:
-You'll need a map to find us
-So close to Washington you can smell it

FLORIDA:
-The Gunshine State
-Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die
-Senior citizen discounts available
-Come, enjoy the humidity
-The snow capital of the US

GEORGIA:
-Home of the Rednecks
-Gateway to Florida
-Confederate money welcome

HAWAII:
-Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
-Book 'em Danno
-Tom Selik, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise!
-Come, get lai-ed

IDAHO:
-Ain't nothing here
-We don't care if you spell potato with an "e"
-Land of a billion "eyes"

ILLINOIS:
-Land of the voting dead
-Gateway to Iowa

INDIANA:
-Home of David Letterman

IOWA:
-Just east of Omaha
-It's easy to spell

KANSAS:
-Hayfever capital of the Midwest
-Dole slept here
-There's no place like home
-Ya want flat, we got flat

KENTUCKY:
-Tobacco is a vegetable
-We're all related
-Gateway to Nashville

LOUISIANA:
-Swim the beautiful Bayou
-Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will never hurt you

MAINE:
-For Sale
-You can spit on Canada from here

MARYLAND:
-If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us

MASSACHUSETTS:
-Home of the young girls from Nantucket, also the home of Ted Kennedy,
hmmmm...

MICHIGAN:
-Land of the free, home of the Buick

MINNESOTA:
-Not Sweden, but we try to act like it
-Sure beats Canada

MISSISSIPPI:
-We're lucky we can spell it
-Why would you want to come here?

MISSOURI:
-Gateway to Kansas
-Here's mine, Show Me yours
-We're better than Illinois

MONTANA:
-Land of the Big Sky, and very little else
-We've got lots of 10'x10' shacks in the woods
-It's where you're wanted.
-At least our cows are sane.

NEBRASKA:
-More corn than Kansas
-Go to Kansas, turn north

NEVADA:
-More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too)
-2 words - Death Valley
--3:5 you'll leave broke
We have our own nuclear testing site

NEW HAMPSHIRE:
-Like Old Hampshire, only newer
-About as exciting as Vermont

NEW JERSEY:
-You have the right to remain silent,
-You have the right to an attorney...
-Tell 'em Guido sent ya

NEW MEXICO:
-Lizards make excellent pets
-We have reservations
-Alien Welcome Center - Roswell

NEW YORK:
-At least we're not New Jersey!
-We're more than a big city; we're a state
-Like we CARE about a motto
-English spoken here; sometimes

NORTH CAROLINA:
-Five million people; Fifteen last names
-We're bigger than South Carolina

NORTH DAKOTA:
-The OTHER South Dakota

OHIO:
-Don't judge us by Cleveland
-Proud polluters of Lake Erie
-We're easy to spell

OKLAHOMA:
-We're OK, you're NOT!
-I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto

OREGON:
-As pretty as California but not as weird
-We're not named after a musical instrument
-You can see the sunset from here

PENNSYLVANIA:
-Cook with coal
-Free lube job with oil change

RHODE ISLAND:
-Size ain't everything
-Nobody famous came from Rhode Island

SOUTH CAROLINA:
-Just south of North Carolina

SOUTH DAKOTA:
-Closer than North Dakota

TENNESSEE:
-The Educashun State
-Thank goodness we've still got Elvis
-A great fixer-upper

TEXAS:
-Si Hablo Ingles
-See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!

UTAH:
-Our Jesus is better than your Jesus
-At least our sheep can't talk

VERMONT:
-Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns

VIRGINIA:
-Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!

WASHINGTON:
-We like our state, so STAY OUT!

WEST VIRGINIA:
-Where "family values" has a different meaning

WISCONSIN:
-Land of funny accents.
-Say "Cheeeese"

WYOMING:
-Where men are lonely and sheep are scared

Submitted by: EAG, San Antonio, Tx

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